spacecadet-to-the-rescue-please:
spacecadet-to-the-rescue-please:
“Yes, Captain America has LEGS!”
You’re telling me, a man in a luigi mask
tuck in baby
it all started in new jersey
scrom scrom
“uuuuhuhhhhuu i just smoked AWUALL of FUKAWMIS WEED AWUUWW SHIT, AWUUEE SHIT”
Marisa and I went for a walk and saw a disposable camera.
strangerly
“I’m more thirsty than anything”
NOOT NOOT,
“You said “I’m icing your dildo?” In front of my MOTHER???”
“We’ll feed you supper, but you gotta clean the FISH PIT first”
“Here comes Simone biles!” *Take on me starts playing on the bassoon*
Bongle my jonk jonk
I’m just breathing!
“Who’s gayer??? Ellen or Alex???”
ShArOn, NeW yOrK, mUsIc, N O W! ! !
“I don’t need a leg to sell papes—“
“You come into MY house… in the middle of my house??”
“what can I do?”
😩
*coughs*
thumbs up pe- *gets shot*
No eating in this house we lack teeth
(Levels up) stronk
I can name a few examples:
- “Snake/[mod] ain’t shit”
- “Banned”
- (This one is technically my own and not entirely a joke but) President Jedi Reverend Princess Optimus Snake, the Punk-Rock Prom Queen
- Waldusgdisnxuli Sanders
- Tingle Harder
- Solid plan… but where are the fish?
- YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES
- Waluxndkdydali Sanders (It bears repeating)
- Yimes
- Combustible Lemons
m e a t b a l l
[Random body part] is actually hemp
- ot itg
- cnut
“bitches love dicks– shit”
those naughty lemon stealing whores!
90-50
Is that my *awkward pause* nutella
Flour
C R O N C H
*slam* whATS THE JOKE
Mango face
Maria? How are the wife and kids?
I SHAT on the FLOOR
BOGEY JUICE
That’s a hecka lotta milk
Annie (specifically mr Williams)
Lima Bean
#honors student
Co cAAcalUH
May I have a name? Uh yeah can I have a chick-fil-a sandwich
Kiss the diving block
*Dolphin wiggles(???) Upwards in the pool*
*gets injured* Put me in coach
*gets a concussion* waHt I hAve a CAUCASIAN?
*snorts pixie sticks*
Charles
There’s a stick in my cello!
*conducter accidentally throws baton at 1st cello and violin on separate occasions*
Trevor
Pinapples
Kimber
Terrorists text
Doug The thug
Squirrels
EXCEPT THE MONGOLS
Tdanks i hate it
- “I always thought he wore tennis shoes.”
- “What do you grow in a vineyard?” “Wine.”
- “You can be salt just dont be salty.”
- “CoMpLaIn AbOuT kZcO!”
- “…but I’m a red-head.”
- “Have a Snickers, Jesus, you aren’t you when you’re hungry.”
- *when handing someone ANYTHING* Ta go (There you go)
“how do i make a portal gun?”
“you make it out of a microwave”
Him:“orange was a color first”
me:“actually science says it was a fruit first”
me the following day:*brings an orange in to school* have an orange
him:*stomps away*
Potato dick
Them:“…whAT ARE YOU EATING” Me: *swallows as they try to pull it out of my mouth*
Me: “hey, want an apple?” Them: “sure?” Me: *opens backpack and like 50 apples spill out* Them: “what tHE FUCK”
Me: “Cheese?” them: “crackers”
The continuing (still) battle on weather or not orange was a color or a fruit first
DO YOU NEED ME TO BRING YOU ANOTHER ORANGE IT TWAS A FUCKING FRUIT FIRST FIGHT ME
LETS GO BUD, BECAUSE I PROMISE YOU IT HAD TO BE A COLOR BEFORE IT COULD BE A FRUIT AND I SWEAR THAT ON 50 MORE APPLES
IT HAD TO OF BEEN A FUCKING FRUIT FIRST FOR IT TO HAVE BEEN A COLOR!! I SWEAR THAT ON LIKE THE AMOUNT OF TIMES IVE SAID IM GONNA JUMP AND SAME IN THE TIME IVE KNOWN YOU
Cadet-For-Your-SpaceRescue 