megnetsworld:

kazjaurelia:

what-even-is-sleep:

shattered-deviant:

cand0ria:

why-fren:

calamity-shit:

vanilla-birdbrain:

softmushie:

volarfinch:

purrtlepuff:

milomeepit:

foreverinvideos:

thelunaticmoonmoon:

lululablette:

fennecsus:

kreita:

umbronydraws:

rock-aliens:

double-heart-anon:

sapphire-anon:

the-broadway-anon:

ask-the-alien-anon:

sun-anon:

the-daisy-anon:

gay-but-not-for-pay:

medichell:

engiess:

nbraiko:

blacksamekichi:

npdredglare:

ocdmedic:

adventuretri:

kanhecki:

frist-over-easy:

“Yes, Captain America has LEGS!”

You’re telling me, a man in a luigi mask

tuck in baby

it all started in new jersey

scrom scrom

“uuuuhuhhhhuu i just smoked AWUALL of FUKAWMIS WEED AWUUWW SHIT, AWUUEE SHIT”

Marisa and I went for a walk and saw a disposable camera.

strangerly

“I’m more thirsty than anything”

NOOT NOOT,

“You said “I’m icing your dildo?” In front of my MOTHER???”

“We’ll feed you supper, but you gotta clean the FISH PIT first”

“Here comes Simone biles!” *Take on me starts playing on the bassoon*

Bongle my jonk jonk

I’m just breathing!

“Who’s gayer??? Ellen or Alex???”

ShArOn, NeW yOrK, mUsIc, N O W! ! !

“I don’t need a leg to sell papes—“

“You come into MY house… in the middle of my house??”

“what can I do?”

😩 

*coughs*

@whyamiherewhosummonedme

thumbs up pe- *gets shot*

No eating in this house we lack teeth

(Levels up) stronk

I can name a few examples:

• “Snake/[mod] ain’t shit”
• “Banned”
• (This one is technically my own and not entirely a joke but) President Jedi Reverend Princess Optimus Snake, the Punk-Rock Prom Queen

• Waldusgdisnxuli Sanders
• Tingle Harder
• Solid plan… but where are the fish?
• YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES
• Waluxndkdydali Sanders (It bears repeating)
• Yimes
• Combustible Lemons

m e a t b a l l

[Random body part] is actually hemp

• ot itg
• cnut

“bitches love dicks– shit”

those naughty lemon stealing whores!

90-50

Is that my *awkward pause* nutella

Flour

C R O N C H

*slam* whATS THE JOKE

Mango face

Maria? How are the wife and kids?

I SHAT on the FLOOR

BOGEY JUICE

That’s a hecka lotta milk

Annie (specifically mr Williams)

Lima Bean

#honors student

Co cAAcalUH

May I have a name? Uh yeah can I have a chick-fil-a sandwich

Kiss the diving block

*Dolphin wiggles(???) Upwards in the pool*

*gets injured* Put me in coach

*gets a concussion* waHt I hAve a CAUCASIAN?

*snorts pixie sticks*

Charles

There’s a stick in my cello!

*conducter accidentally throws baton at 1st cello and violin on separate occasions*

Trevor

Pinapples

Kimber

Terrorists text

Doug The thug

Squirrels

EXCEPT THE MONGOLS

Tdanks i hate it

• “I always thought he wore tennis shoes.”
• “What do you grow in a vineyard?” “Wine.”
• “You can be salt just dont be salty.”
• “CoMpLaIn AbOuT kZcO!”
• “…but I’m a red-head.”
• “Have a Snickers, Jesus, you aren’t you when you’re hungry.”
• *when handing someone ANYTHING* Ta go (There you go)

“how do i make a portal gun?”

“you make it out of a microwave”

Him:“orange was a color first”

me:“actually science says it was a fruit first”

me the following day:*brings an orange in to school* have an orange

him:*stomps away*