Author: maxhatter

momnar:

roachpatrol:

one of the nice things about heterosexuals i never see talked about on here is that they haven’t already heard all your gay jokes yet. i just really appreciate having a new audience sometimes for my completely automatic responses to phrases like ‘i’ll be straight with you’. so, shoutout to all the innocent hets out there who have a genuine giggle over lame quips that a fellow queer would groan and hit me for. ilu guys. 

I recently no scoped my coworker when she asked me “What’s in the closet, anyway?” and I automatically said “me”. She lost her mind. Full cackling in the middle of the store. I never thought I’d see the day that joke would work but here I was, blessed with an unexperienced heterosexual. It was transcendent. 

prospt:

prospt:

i cant believe that ‘im such a top i’ve never submitted to anything, ESPECIALLY not stoplights’ is a real canon sentiment expressed by a real canon death note character

this is, legitimately, one of the funniest fucking things ive seen in my entire life

lightvanillafairy:

note to self:

((starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve starve))