Right now..it’s honestly really hard and I really want to lose weight..when I’m small and weigh less I feel light and delicate and beautiful and happy and right now I feel weighted down and to big…it would be so easy to get back into old habits…it would be like I never tried to get better at all….I just have to find my self control and never look at food again….it’s easier than most people think…

Every time I screw up…I don’t think I deserve anything…not even to breathe…the next best thing is not letting myself eat…

I’m not very good at saying how I feel and opening up and I’m really scared of what I truly think of myself because I’m sure if I let myself think about myself it could get really bad and I might go off the deep end