people say “if you don’t lower your standards, you’re gonna end up spending your whole life alone!” like being a healthy, happy, financially independent single adult is actually worse than being stuck in an abusive and/or emotionally unfulfilling relationship with someone who isn’t willing/able to meet your needs. like no offense, but I think I’m gonna choose to be happy rather than throwing myself into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship.
I’m actually glad we don’t live in an RPG world. We really take for granted being able to coexist with most animals. I don’t wanna have to pull out a longsword and beat the shit out of six crabs and two snails while a starfish snipes me with magic bullets every time I go to the beach.
sometimes you say or do bad things while you’re in an awful mental place. sometimes you say things that are rude or uncalled for or manipulative. and i’m not going to hold that against you. mental illness is hard, and no one is perfect. but once you’re through that episode, you need to take steps to make amends. you need to apologize.
“i couldn’t help it, i was having a bad episode” is a justification, not an apology.
“i’m so fucking sorry, i fucked up, i don’t deserve to live, i should stop talking to anyone ever, i should die” is a second breakdown and a guilt trip. it is not an apology.
when you apologize, the focus should be on the person you hurt. “i’m sorry. i did something that was hurtful to you. even if i was having a rough time, you didn’t deserve to hear that,” is a better apology. if it was a small thing, you can leave it at that.
if you caused significant distress to the other person, this is a good time to talk about how you can minimize damage in the future. and again, even if it is tempting to say you should self-isolate and/or die, that is not a helpful suggestion. it will result in the person you’re talking to trying to talk you out of doing that, which makes your guilt the focus of the conversation instead of their hurt.
you deserve friendship, and you deserve support. but a supportive friend is not an emotional punching bag, and mental illness does not absolve you of responsibility for your actions. what you say during a mental breakdown doesn’t define you. how you deal with the aftermath though, says a lot.
This is the most carefully-nuanced discussion of this I think I have ever seen. Thank you for writing this.
As most of you know, PETA (People for Ethical Treatment of Animals) produces lots of sexist, racist, fatphobic, and even ableist ads. Their ideologies match, unfortunately. They are incredibly unreasonable, too, and they effectively want to remove companion animals from human contact entirely.
Members of PETA have done the following to me.
Attempted to take my service dog’s leash
Threatened to take him away
Sent me death threats
Threatened to euthanize him out of “mercy”
Claimed that I am a “slavedriver” and “active participant in the speciesist h*l*caust” (Ah yes, please tell the romani-german-native girl that she’s basically a Nazi. Good idea.)
Left threatening voicemails on my phone.
Scared me so badly that I had to move house at one point
Grabbed my service dog
Tried to pry my hand off of my service dog’s harness
Threw paint on a faux fur-lined coat I was wearing (the paint got matted in my hair to the point where I had to shave my head)
Speaks openly on their hatred for service dog handlers.
Adding:
Their “Adoption” services are a complete lie. Do not bring an animal to a PETA facility or allow PETA volunteers or employees to take an animal. THEY WILL KILL IT.
Their own documentation shows that they euthanize approximately 90 – 97% of all animals they take in, on a yearly basis. This includes everything from seriously injured/ill animals, to healthy puppies and kittens.
They support Breed Specific Legislation, and call for the mass extermination of all “Pit Bull-type dogs”.
if there is anyone out there who doesn’t know this – this is really important. PETA kills and terrorizes animals. They do so for their own propaganda and in turn, profit. There is nothing ethical about their treatment of animals let alone other human beings.
Their position is, supposedly, that animals are equal to humans and as such use really ableist, racist, and wildly inappropriate metaphors that undermine real human oppression and suffering. Often just for shock value. If they applied their principle, then they are basically saying that mentally ill or struggling and homeless humans should be put to death on mass.
In addition to all of the above, they also promote the idea that dairy products cause autism.
Plus, they harassed Steve Irwin’s family while they were grieving his death.
They’re pretty terrible.
The Humane Society of the United States and the SPCA are where it’s at, if you want broad, effective, and ethical animal rights organizations on a national scale, though you can be really effective seeking out your local no-kill shelter or wildlife refuge.
If animals could talk or tell us what they think in plain language, they would say not to support PETA. I’m dead serious here, they would tell you not to.
Yep, definitely ableist….
They also constantly spread blatant misinformation
As most of you know, PETA (People for Ethical Treatment of Animals) produces lots of sexist, racist, fatphobic, and even ableist ads. Their ideologies match, unfortunately. They are incredibly unreasonable, too, and they effectively want to remove companion animals from human contact entirely.
Members of PETA have done the following to me.
Attempted to take my service dog’s leash
Threatened to take him away
Sent me death threats
Threatened to euthanize him out of “mercy”
Claimed that I am a “slavedriver” and “active participant in the speciesist h*l*caust” (Ah yes, please tell the romani-german-native girl that she’s basically a Nazi. Good idea.)
Left threatening voicemails on my phone.
Scared me so badly that I had to move house at one point
Grabbed my service dog
Tried to pry my hand off of my service dog’s harness
Threw paint on a faux fur-lined coat I was wearing (the paint got matted in my hair to the point where I had to shave my head)
Speaks openly on their hatred for service dog handlers.
Adding:
Their “Adoption” services are a complete lie. Do not bring an animal to a PETA facility or allow PETA volunteers or employees to take an animal. THEY WILL KILL IT.
Their own documentation shows that they euthanize approximately 90 – 97% of all animals they take in, on a yearly basis. This includes everything from seriously injured/ill animals, to healthy puppies and kittens.
They support Breed Specific Legislation, and call for the mass extermination of all “Pit Bull-type dogs”.
if there is anyone out there who doesn’t know this – this is really important. PETA kills and terrorizes animals. They do so for their own propaganda and in turn, profit. There is nothing ethical about their treatment of animals let alone other human beings.
Their position is, supposedly, that animals are equal to humans and as such use really ableist, racist, and wildly inappropriate metaphors that undermine real human oppression and suffering. Often just for shock value. If they applied their principle, then they are basically saying that mentally ill or struggling and homeless humans should be put to death on mass.
In addition to all of the above, they also promote the idea that dairy products cause autism.
Plus, they harassed Steve Irwin’s family while they were grieving his death.
They’re pretty terrible.
The Humane Society of the United States and the SPCA are where it’s at, if you want broad, effective, and ethical animal rights organizations on a national scale, though you can be really effective seeking out your local no-kill shelter or wildlife refuge.
If animals could talk or tell us what they think in plain language, they would say not to support PETA. I’m dead serious here, they would tell you not to.
Yep, definitely ableist….
They also constantly spread blatant misinformation
Cadet-For-Your-SpaceRescue 