Percy [Trying to come up with an escape plan]: How long can you hold your breath underwater?
Leo: I don’t know.
Percy: Are you familiar with the term slam and cram?
Leo: No and I don’t think I want to be.
Percy [Tied up]: How attached are you to your pinky?
Leo: Very, very attached, and before you ask another terrifyingly vague question, let me be clear. Any plan that involves even one of those scenarios isn’t going to work for me.

When Artemis finally appears in Trials of Apollo

Artemis: This year, I lost my dear twin brother Apollo.
Apollo (as Lester): *In the distance* Quit telling everyone I’m dead!
Artemis: Sometimes, I can still hear his voice.

jason-gracefully:

Okay so I know we all saw this and thought “oh Ricks referencing another one of his books” and was kinda done with it. But a part of me really wants to believe that the 7 (particularly Piper and Percy) definitely made this a saying after Jason passed out so many times. Like I really believe that at both camps whenever someone would pass out they would say “they pulled a Jason Grace” and eventually it started spreading to mortals or maybe there was just some demigod in Boston that Magnus overheard say that and then Magnus, though having no idea who Jason Grace was, knew of this common expression to say that he passes out a lot I don’t care if it’s true or not can I just believe this

Will: should i get rainbow boxer briefs?
Nico: as your boyfriend this is a level of gay even i cant handle

Calypso:The stars are beautiful tonight
Leo:You know who else is beautiful?
Calypso:*blushes* who?
Leo:Me

Nico: What am I allergic to?
Will: Pine nuts. And the full spectrum of human emotion.

Jason: I did a bad thing.
Reyna: Does it affect me?
Jason: No.
Reyna: Then suffer in silence.

Nico at school

Nico: its noT A PHASE JASON ITS WHO I REALLY AM
Nico: i hate you all
Nico: im too gay for this
Nico: which one one you little shits dissed McDonalds
Nico: *legendary class sleeper*
Nico: eww no i don’t have a crush on Will psshh wtf
Nico: no im not a vampire
Nico: …. or a zombie
Nico: *stares at med student Will from across the lunch hall
Nico: Will go aWAY IM NOT GONNA EAT THIS GODAMN COOKIE
Nico: i wish i was dead
Nico: oh my goDS IM NOT AN EMO
Will: hey
Nico: *dies*

I’ve stolen more stuff than I can count. Because I’ve stolen a lot of stuff, not because I can’t count very high.

One of the Hermes kids, probably. (via totallycorrectpjo)

I say more dumb things before 9 a.m. than most people say all day.

Percy Jackson, probably (via totallycorrectpjo)