Author: maxhatter

characterdevelopmentforwriters:

sergle:

jasper-appreciation:

unpretty:

unpretty:

Tumblr: *rolls out “best stuff first”*

My blog:

on the one hand this is a joke post because lol i have never made a good post in my life, but also, if i hadn’t made the connection

between this update and my sudden nosedive in activity, i would have been really fucking discouraged about all the shit i’ve been working on lately. i guarantee there are people on tumblr right now who haven’t made that connection, and who are trying to figure out why suddenly no one likes anything they’ve made. and that fucking sucks.

Reminder to go into your settings and turn off ‘Best Stuff First’ because my activity’s tanked a couple days ago for no reason so this stuff IS happening.

You WILL miss content with that setting on.

i ain’t joking when i say that my activity looks JUST like this too and i wasn’t sure why

I’m sure you all have seen posts like this before, but you will be missing out on a lot of content if you have this feature activated.

Note to my ex.

wambamanxiousman:

punkpoemprose:

marvelousmacey:

iamfrenchfrie:

mieshasmoore:

iamchinyere:

Today my professor told me every cell in our entire body is destroyed and replaced every seven years. How comforting it is to know that one day I will have a body that you will have never touched.

This just made me feel so warm.

thank you.

Important especially for victims of abuse, remember your body is yours and it heals in more ways than you realize.

Okay, so I just want to say that this isn’t necessarily true. Most of your cells have died and regrown several times in seven years, but some haven’t, and some have died and won’t return. The seven year cell renewal is a myth perpetuated by popsci in magazines everywhere.

That being said, anywhere they may have touched you, your skin, your hair, your nails and so on, was changing the moment they departed your life, even before that. Your skin became skin they’ve never touched within 27 days. Your hair grows (on average) six inches per year, so depending on how long yours is, you were rid of their touch there within a few years tops. Your nails will completely regrow within six months tops. You were a body they never touched within three or four years. You will be a body they never touched within three or four years.

You have been rewriting your body, you are your own, you are constantly changing, and you are the only one who owns your body 100% of the time.

I’m here for correcting science myths in supportive ways.

doktorpeace:

realmfighter:

venndigo:

k8thescout:

can someone explain the alignment chart for me but in like, the simplest wording possible lmao

lawful good: i want to do the right thing, and following society’s rules is the best way to do that

neutral good: i want to do what’s right, and i’m willing to bend or break the rules as long as no one gets hurt

chaotic good: i’m willing to do whatever it takes as long as it’s to do the right thing

lawful neutral: following the rules of society is the most important thing, and that matters more to me than doing what’s right

true neutral: i just want myself and the people i care about to be happy

chaotic neutral: i want my freedom, and i don’t care what i have to do to keep it

lawful evil: to impede the protagonists (in whatever evil way) is my primary goal, but i follow my own code of morals even when it’s inconvenient

neutral evil: to impede the protagonists (in whatever evil way) is the my primary goal, and while i’ll do what it takes to achieve it, i also won’t go out of my way to do unnecessary damage

chaotic evil: i relish in destruction and want to do as much damage as possible while i try to achieve my primary goal

atowncalledomelette:

simonalkenmayer:

luchagcaileag:

thelovelyblark-barg:

clareironbrook:

kurasumii:

starry-nightengale:

kurasumii:

bolto:

why did the cake is a lie become the like most quoted portal thing when literally everything glados said was funnier 

“Look, we both said a lot of things that *you’re* going to regret.”

“Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it. WELL I WONT LET YOU. how does that feel?”

“Nice job breaking it, hero”

“Look at you. sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle…piloting a blimp”

Like this bitch had a goldmine of good lines

“Maybe after you finish this test, I’ll let you take the elevator all the way up to the break room… and I’ll tell you about the time I saw the deer again.”

“It’s a mystery I’ll have to solve later. By myself. Because you’ll be dead.”

“Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noise– * really loud ass train horn* “I’m sorry, I don’t know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.“ 

“Well done. Here come the test results: You are a horrible person. I’m serious, that’s what it says: A horrible person. We weren’t even testing for that.”

“Don’t let that ‘horrible person’ thing discourage you. It’s just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother’s decision to abandon you on a doorstep.”

”Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I’m sorry. You didn’t react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That’s why I had to call you garbage a second time just now.“

“Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version- [unintelligible] There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I’ll be right back.”

“This next test involves turrets. You remember them, right? They’re the pale spherical things that are full of bullets. Oh wait. That’s you in five seconds. Good luck.”

“That jumpsuit you’re wearing looks stupid. That’s not me talking, it’s right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks stupid. Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion? He probably – Oh, wait. It’s a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France!”

“Oh, hi. How are you holding up? Because I’m a POTATO.”

”Remember, these exhibits ARE interactive. Like a children’s museum. So that means the pits of acid are filled with REAL acid. Like at a WELL FUNDED children’s museum.“

“Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber…. is looking pretty good.”

I’ve heard they actually had to rewrite a lot of her dialogue for the early part of Portal 2 to be more ridiculous and petty, as it was actually so on-point and vicious it was making playtesters not want to play the game.

That is an appropriate thing. They shouldn’t play such a divine game without struggling and feeling miserable.

GLADOS is a gem.

you’re all forgetting her spot as the card dealer in Poker Night 2

“I see you’ve decided to bluff your way through this hand. Oh, I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that. My bad.”

“I know something you don’t know. Not about this hand. Just generally.”

“I’ve scanned over two hundred million poker tournaments for a replication of your current strategy and found zero results. So you’re a pioneer now.”

“If you’re folding because you’re too embarrassed to admit that you’ve forgotten the rules, just nod your head. I promise not to tell anyone.”

“I’ll bet you didn’t expect this tournament to last this long, did you? Perhaps that’s part of the problem: you’re not making enough stupid bets. Here, let me raise the blinds to 1800 and 3600.”

god-decim:

Person A: “We will start going to church next Sunday”

Person B: “Wait I can’t go to church…Ever”

Person A: “What… Why?”

Person B: “I will spontaneously combust”

Person A: “How many times do I have to tell you you’re not a vampire or any sort of dark lord…”

Person B: *Hisses demonically*