phalloid-destroyer:

old-school-butch:

dare-to-dm:

themadcapmathematician:

tockthewatchdog:

tockthewatchdog:

i love that i have to go to menswear to find a shirt a human being in the world would wear and then when i do it takes me .5 seconds to find it. I love that

me: i need a plain black t shirt

target women’s section: would you like to have a giant scoop neck that would definitely like completely show at least one of your boobs. would you, an adult woman, like to wear a crop top? would you like to look like a human piñata. BLACK? I think you mean jewel tones babey!

target men’s section: yeah sure. it’s the first thing you see as you walk into the shirt aisle. have a good one

Women’s section: would you like a shirt made out of tissue paper that costs $34.99??

Men’s section: here’s 25 normal tshirts for a quarter

Women’s Section: Would you like to play fucking guessing games with our arbitrary sizing systems and style names?  Also, we added a bunch of fake pockets for your personal inconvenience!

Men’s Section: Here’s a bunch of pants organized by the exact inch length of your waist and legs.  With pockets that can hold more than just a credit card.

Women’s Section: The fashion cycle is so fast that we just drop clothes from our rooftop factory into a giant garbage truck stationed below the floor and truck it to landfills. This hour’s fashion is called “Sexy Clown.” Just grab something as it goes by!

Men’s Section: Today we are celebrating the 145th edition of our classic jeans line, in the timeless style from 1873 when they were called ‘waist overalls.’

women’s section: Hey here we have “shirts” made of 2 strands of hay and are 5cm long, with origami cuts that show your almost entire chest and don’t cover your torso at all. Your arm may fit in it, because you won’t. Don’t like it? we have it in BRIGHT GREEN and with fake jewelry!

men’s section: Yeah the shirt you’re looking for is here and DOES cover your entire torso, no it doesn’t have cuts, no it doesn’t cost 50