baby: [waving its hands around] what am i?? what are these??? who are YOU? what is THIS ????
parents: you’re a heterosexual male and your name is jimmy and your favorite color is blue but you won’t tell anyone that because you’re a Man(tm) and you’ll grow up to be a basketball player. aww look at that, he reached his hand out for the nurse omg what a flirt!!!
baby: [screaming]