Sigmund Freud: *invents psychoanalysis, including terms such as trauma, ego, id, super ego, unconscious mind, dream analysis. Sets the basis for modern psychology*
Me: What a smart guy.
Freud: Lesbians are attracted to women because they’re jealous of men, and perceive themselves as being wrongfully castrated.
Me: I… what? no!
Freud: Women love to knit because they wish they had bigger pubic hair to hide the fact they have no penis.
Me: What the fuck are you talking about?!
Freud: People like the Tale of King Oedipus because 5 year old boys sexually fantasise about their mothers and fear their fathers would castrate them for it.
Me: Sigmund, stop!